What is your program?

Pay close attention to what you say after "I ...."  You are saying and thinking your own program.  You are actually reinforcing any conscious (or unconscious) beliefs about youself.  Paying attention to what you say or think after "I" is a perfect way to see what you are and how you create your reality.

Now I get it

When I was growing up I was impressed with the feeling that I "aught to feel lucky for what I've got."  It was said in a way that meant I am not worthy of anything I have.  Shame

Let it Go. e.e. cummings

let it go -
the smashed word
broken open vow or
the oath cracked lengthwise
- let it go
it was sworn to go

 let them go -
the truthful liars and
the false fair friends
and the boths and neithers
- you must let them go
they were born to go

let all go -
the big small middling
tall bigger really
the biggest
and all things -

let all go dear
so comes love~ e. e. cummings ~

Emerging from my subconscious...

Floating to the top, out of the depths, like a message from the 8 Ball, is a knowing that my concept of myself is just a make believe mass which I have been orbiting.  It is dark and murky.  It is in front of me at eye level.  It looks like I can reach out and touch it.  I think I will.  I am in a bit of disbelief that I have been orbiting this mass with its gravitational pull for a lifetime paying homage to it and all the time reinforcing my concept of myself. 

Open up the window and let the fresh air in.

Taking a good deep breath and focusing your attention in your body is like pulling back the curtains and opening the window to let the sunshine and fresh air in.  Your body says, "Thank you so much! I've just been waiting to be noticed for so long."  This is life, and the rest is, well, just a pale reflection. 

Viewing the world with empathy is like quality breathing.

They both connect you with yourself and the world.  The test is whether you act your worst towards the worst at your worst - not whether you treat someone well when you are fine and they are fine.  We can all do that.  When we are empathetic we are full of love.  If there are disturbances in our empathy they reflect disturbances or concentrations within us.  That is, we are still living separately from the world and ourselves.  We are still living a life of illusions, separation and forms.  We are choked off.  I wonder what other ways there are to connect to myself and the world.

Thanks Mom. It is nice to be seen and heard, Little Bird

It is AMAZING. And of course it really only responds to Empathy.

I am amazed to discover and nuture a new relationship with my breath.  It is so remarkable that I feel that I am alive for the first time.  How could have neglected my body for so long?  But that is not what I have found today that is even more remarkable and amazing.  I have discovered a new relationship with the universe, God, existence, the matrix, or consciousness.  I am literally stunned and amazed.

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

Portia Nelson ~ There's a Hole in My Sidewalk

Chapter 1

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost ... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter 2

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place.
But it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter 3

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in ... it's a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter 4

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter 5

I walk down another street.

Tonight We're Visiting the Moon

Check you Road Map

The body is like a highway to Heaven . . .

around every curve you run into something Divine

Freedom from Separation

"Separation

is not your natural state.

You are not separate from

everything and trying

to get to oneness.

You are doing separation.

You are actively

separating yourself

from this moment.

And I am not saying

not to have definitions,

not to call a chair a chair.

All of this happens.

This duality happens

in nonduality.

It is not one or the other,

it the same.

But because you latch

on to the definitions

you do not see the essence

of what is here.

It is not wrong to do this,

but if you want to be free

of stress, of anxiety

and conflict,

it is important

to realize you are

doing stress,

you are doing anxiety

you are doing conflict.

Because the mind

is so active,

it appears that

this is just occurring

and you are simply

a victim of suffering.

But once the thoughts

begin to slow down

and things become

more in balance,

you begin to recognize

this action of separation,

this action of creating yourself

to be a something

against everything else.

Something that needs

to be protected

that needs to control

everything else

in order to survive.

And when you clearly see this,

you can learn to stop doing it,

you learn to let it go when it arises.

Whatever arises,

instead of taking a position in it,

instead of grabbing hold of it,

you simply allow it to arise

and disappear

in the same way

bubbles rise up

in club soda.

They arise in water

and disappear in water.

You feel the bubbles arising

you experience the bubbles arising

but not as something separate.

You allow the bubbles

and remain as water.

You stop

fixating on definitions

and remain

in and as the unknowing.

Blessings,

Kip"

Just do it!

No one can do it for us.  Never.  They can support us.  And they will support us.  Just do it.  Do what? Find your heart.  There is nothing else to do.  It is a practice which will take time.  Don't rush it.  Love it.

Separation and Duality are passe

Drop your illusion that you are separated from others and all things.  This illusion is just a shield which takes life energy to maintain.  It works hard to protect you from perceived fears, such as annihilation.  These fears and illusions are just concentrations in your psyhe or wrinkles in the fabric of the universe.  They were put there by others.  They are not part of your natural self.  Look inward and you will see and feel them.  Truly love them.  Don't wish them away.  Sit with them for a while.  They are life too.  But, they will soon loosen up and leave you and your old boundaries will fade away, and you will have all the proof you need that I am right and that you are beautiful and powerful and the kingdom of God is really within you. :-)

God is at the center of your black hole.

Don't waste my bandwidth if you are weak of heart or mind. You must be able to look God in the face and ask for what you need.  Her kingdom is full of life, and she is full of life, only to the degree you are full of life.  Life is at stake here and all is fair. 
If you don't get it, you're not alone.  If you still need to crawl, self-humiliate, kneel, stand, sit and give, give, give, to feel whole, then move on.  There are plenty of sites for you.

The Living End

I see you found it.

You are That Light!

You and the Sun are One.

Plato's Allegory of the Cave

In college I found a quiet room where I could hide in peace and study, or just daydream about the world.  It was very large with high ceilings.  The walls were stone halfway up.  There were couches along the walls, carpets on the floor, a hugh fireplace, and a grand piano.  The high walls were bare.  No one but  the occasional pianist and myself would ever visit it.  It was otherwise abandoned.  At that time I modeled for a painting of Plato's Allegory of the Cave: where Plato became enlightened, left the cave world of forms and ventured out into the true light.  The artist received permission to place her 15 foot high panelled paintings in "my" private room.  There, spanning the entire room, was this enormous painted story of Plato's search for and achievement of enlightenment.  The painting which I modeled for was right over the fireplace.

My entire life I have searched for enlightenment.  This blog is my continuing search, spelunking if you will.  My earlier post "Bee in a Bottle"  I wrote as my perspective on Plato's allegory, 5 years later.

THANK YOU GOD FOR THIS MIRACLE

In order for something to exist there must be an observer.  It is all about the observer (you).  When I catch myself forgetting to breath consciously with love, respect and gratitude, I take that deep lasting breath and I feel existence and life fill my body.  My senses return and my mind shuts down.  I sense my surroundings and hear all of the noises.  I am paying attention - observing - and my life returns.  It is as if, just prior, I was a rock.  My body gasps for air and shouts in gratitude.  Pay attention to your people, your plants and pets and yourself and observe life return.  They will shout in gratitude.

There is a grace approaching
that we shun as much as death,
it is the completion of our birth.

It does not come in time,
but in timelessness
when the mind sinks into the heart
and we remember.

It is an insistent grace that draws us
to the edge and beckons us surrender
safe territory and enter our enormity.

We know we must pass
beyond knowing
and fear the shedding.

But we are pulled upward
none-the-less
through forgotten ghosts
and unexpected angels,
luminous.

And there is nothing left to say
but we are That.

~ Stephen Levine ~

Do you care about small differences?

I care about everything.  There are no minor differences. It all matters.  Everything is a pure reflection of yourself, mirrored back constantly.  Every 'thing' is an emanation from the center of your black hole, and you emanate from its center.  Love all of yourself, and it will love all of you too.  Or you can love it, and it will love you.  You can start loving anywhere and the love will resonate and grow.

The meek shall inherit the Earth

The black hole is the kingdom of god and it is inside you.  Your life and creativity emanate from within it.  You will return to it when it swallows you up, and rebirth you out the other side. 

It is your center of gravity, for good reason.  It has infinite mass and therefore gravitational pull.  This isn't a vacuum suction full of nothing.  Feel this mass in your belly as your center.  Flex it. Clentch it.  It is attracting all that your desire effortlessly.  Now all you have to do is know what you really want at the subconscious level.  It is actually very easy to do - just look all around you.

Tend to it like a master gardener.  Cultivate it.  Cherish it, Retreat to it, Nourish it, Value, Respect, Love and Adore it.  Others don't tend to theirs and they will rape yours.  So, be ever vigilant and protective.  The meek are doing naught but tending to their creative life force emanating from their black hole whether they know it or not, and they are bliss.  All that is most worthy is theirs.

Without YOU, GOD is squat, nada. Just wait, She will find you.

Bliss is a Black Hole

She is the Black Hole - Creation and Destruction ongoing, out of time, in every present moment

The Kingdom is not how we have imagined it - not static or even pleasant at all.

It is Bliss; ever-present 'motionless' motion of Being.

WHAT TO DO????

When with your lover I found that it is good to make proficient use of her ears and neck as a means into her body and heart.  They are readily available, more direct and just as powerful.  The use of many techniques is recommended.  Variation is definitely the spice of life here.  Higher pitched controlled sucking or a tight stream of air blowing in tight cirles around and into the ear canal, combined with a cold wet chill of sloppy saliva will let her know where she is and with whom she is laying.  Her neck and nipples will be waiting for you. :-)

NOW THE KINGDOM OF GOD IS WITHIN YOU NOW

When they say that the kingdom of God is within you, know what that kingdom looks like and you will know that you are living it now.  It doesn't actually get better ever.  This is it.  It just looks better.  While everything is relative, the viewpoint changes with the point of reference.  Reference death or acute suffering, or just about everything else objectively, and NONE of us can do much better.   But, reference yourself, from your viewpoint, and EVERYONE can do a bit better.  We are LIVING THE KINGDOM OF GOD NOW.  You are perfectly beautiful as you are, right now.

REVISTING KARMA

Anything less than pure compassion, empathy, and mercy generates a dark shade of karma, no matter how small, regardless of intent, fault or percieved justification/provocation.   At the sub-nuclear level we have the conservation of matter, energy, consciousness and karma, where human traits are inconsequential.  Karma is the great equalizer, beyond our notions of justice.

AN IMPROVED PARADIGM

My whole life I was living in my head.  I wasn't even aware that physically I was top heavy in my shoulders.  At the same time I was ready to move my power and self down into my more powerful self and regain my personal power, a very dear friend of mine suggested that I was "all in my shoulders."  At that time I recognized that as being true.  Now I recognize that my focus and concentration and power are from my gut.

A Eulogy to My Grandmother Julia K. Ercolino

Today it is my great honor to tell you about my grandmother, Julia K.Ercolino.  As we know she was a dedicated and loving sister, daughter, wife, mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. 

I want to mention that for the past year my mother labored daily for my grandmother, providing care that befitted a queen, rendered by the most loyal of servants.  She was constantly assisted by my Aunt Toni, her husband Nic, and my Uncle Charles.  Julia passed away last Thursday.  She died exactly as she lived, with dignity, peacefully and with grace.  My Uncle Charles was by her side.  Thank you Nic, Aunt Toni, Uncle Charles and Mom.

My personal experience of my grandmother is closely tied to my experiences of my grandfather and their home, as well as the people and things around them.  It seems as if most of those people are here today.  These memories are mostly of my younger days, the impressionable years.  As you will see, I feel very thankful and appreciative of my experiences, which I was so very privileged to enjoy.

That home was the greatest playground and school ever built.  The people and things in it were inspirational and fun.  Inside/outside, upstairs/downstairs it was a sensory utopia always teaching, encouraging and stimulating the imagination.

It came ready made with an aunt and uncle whom were the most fun friends I had.  There were always old friends and family around.  They seemed to always be cooking the best foods, drinking, eating, talking in Italian after dinner, teaching, or doing something they loved to do.

The things inside the house were as fun and interesting as the people.  There were gizmos, gadgets, gimmicks and inventions, as grandpa would call them.  Things that boys love, like globes, maps, compasses, magnifying glasses, flashlights, thermometers, cameras, and transistor radios.  There were things that my family played with, as they taught me interesting, useful and fun hobbies and games.  There were walls full of horseback riding ribbons and trophies, a photography developing lab with black and white photos everywhere, scuba diving equipment, a huge fish tank and a huge electric toy railroad.  There was a grandfather clock and the omnipresent electric organ.

In the back yard was Big Bertha, grandpa’s enormous ham antennae.  Grandpa would bring the world into the house and I heard that Uncle Charles climbed that huge antennae.  There were birthday parties with horseback riding and swimming all day.  There were secret rooms, a barn, a cottage, and a laundry shoot.  There were cats, dogs, horses, goldfish, and goats – Ho-Hum and Oh-no.  I will never forget the pony Dawn, the German Shepards – Suzie and Gretchen, and the biggest horse – Fab.

In that home I learned scrabble, card tricks and monopoly.  My Uncle Charles taught me chess.  My fondest memories were of riding with my grandfather on the tractor he built – it looked like it was from Star Wars; the sound of his AM radio playing by his bedside and the door where they recorded everyone’s height as we grew older.  We even visited my grandparents in Florida.

Throughout all, my grandmother managed all the holidays and birthdays and the house and people seemingly effortlessly.  She was a wonderful, intelligent, and loyal sister, wife, mother and grandmother, never complaining, always supportive. 

Imagine knowing someone for so many years and your fondest memory is of often watching As the World Turns and Let’s Make a Deal while sipping a tall glass of 7-up over crushed ice.

As you can see I had a happy childhood, rich with learning, stimulation, socialization and fun.  I owe a lot of thanks to my grandmother.  She was a true daughter of god – no wonder she was born on Christmas Day.

She taught through her actions and results.  She was serene, steady, always giving and always present for any need.  She had class and quality.  It was never what she said, it was that she was never wanting, complaining or sick.  She never said a bad word about anyone or anything.

Towards her end we rallied around her.  She gave us meaning and a common connection. She gave to all until her death.

On Sunday Morning I was at home in Colorado.  I got up early to get ready to come back east.  As I do daily, I looked out the kitchen window up to the Rocky Mountains to check the weather.  The sun was rising from over the house and just lighting the back yard and the horse pasture, it was reflecting off of the snow capped mountain peaks.  Just then four morning doves rose from the barn and took flight to the north.  But one dove left the others and headed due west towards the mountains.  I watched that dove for a few minutes as it keep a straight and level flight until it disappeared into the white snow of a beautiful part of the mountain. 

To me that was a sign from my grandmother telling me that she left and won’t be coming back.  It inspired me to write a poem about her.  I will read it now.  It is called Morning Breeze and in it she is the morning breeze.

Morning Breeze: A Eulogy to my Grandmother, Julia K. Ercolino

I felt a familiar morning breeze Easing through a low lying pasture; It comes and goes everyday For many many a past year. Sure as the chirping sparrow, I know it will be coming back tomorrow. Blessing in a new day Seeing the fog on its way Mopping up the wet dew Bidding the night’s sky adieu Refreshing the lungs of those whom it graces Putting smiles upon their faces Always light, never cold Fresh and crisp, and seldom bold Yesterday’s weather is now long forgotten Tomorrow’s cares have yet to be gotten.

I knew a familiar morning breeze Easing through a low lying pasture; It came and went everyday Letting all things settle where they may. As last it has tired of the sorrow, I know it won’t be coming back tomorrow. But, if in the morning I should cry Without that breeze to dry my eye I will listen to the trees And in the distance hear that breeze Then, in the future when its right I will meet that breeze in the night Always light, never cold She was fresh and crisp, and seldom bold Thank you morning breeze, for your kindness, caring and love You were as loyal and graceful as the morning dove.

“Bee in a Bottle”

Have you ever watched a bee buzzing around the back of an empty soda bottle, struggling for life and freedom, only to perish facing the bottom of the bottle?  The bee was fatally faithful to its instinctive illusion that the way to freedom and liberation is towards the brightest light at the rear.  The bee only had to turn around and exit at the top or opening. In the famous myth of the cave, Plato perceives only shadows of the eternal realities flickering on the wall of the cave.  But gradually he can be drawn out and achieve enlightenment and liberation by accustoming his mind to the divine light. In my analogy to Plato’s allegory, where men are prisoners of the ignorance and obscurity of their minds, the “Bee in the

Bottle” died victim to its own instincts.  The great distinction is that only humans, employing great courage, can attain true liberation from their illusions and consequent actions.  No emancipation proclamation and no constitutional freedom of expression can match the individual’s courage to freely examine his and society’s norms as a means of achieving liberation.  Do not struggle for your entire life, faithful to your beliefs, only to die at the closed end of your open bottle; give yourself the courage to challenge your beliefs. (mcg 1991)

Simultaneous Exothermic Reactions

Regarding the Law of Attraction and creating abundance, my thoughts are that rather than thinking about what I don't have and then trying to create it, it is more effective to Court your desires like courting a woman from the heart, as the heart has nuclear power and the mind only has something equivalent to electromagnetic powers. 

In other words, it is not always best to be like the yang-natured aggressive man longing for a woman and setting his plans into action.  If you are stuck and just can't seem to get what your head tells you want, give your feminine a chance for a change.  It is often more effective to be like the passive subtle yin-natured woman with multiple courters, awaiting the right man while employing all of her mannerisms and feminine skills. 

Don’t cheapen yourself and weaken your will with overexposure, like a child whining for something.  Stand in your body, with awareness, feel what you want in your gut, and command it.  In the same way we can create everything we want by assuming a yin nature and allowing what we want to find us.  You can even court God.  Wait in calling like a woman - a powerful worthy woman - with inner knowledge and court your heart’s desires.  They will find you. 

However, if we want to stay in our male roles, then it may be better to set about your desires in much the way the man coaxes the woman's orgasm to come hither with all of his focus, presence, passion and mastered skill for HER satisfaction and pleasure.  Gentlemen, don't just jump on it.

Regarding Simultaneous Exothermic Reactions: one was happening in the fireplace Saturday evening.  You figure out where the other was.

The Black Hole in Me

At the center of a black hole is pure mass. (never mind about the ratio of space in a pure vacuum to space in pure mass- it happens to be c squared, just like e=mc2, life and space nuclearly change into pure death and nothingness and time.  There is a black hole at the center of everything, every atom, every being, every energy system.  A steam of energy streams out of both sides of a black hole, giving life and death, and sustaining all things.  And we are giving life to it, sustaining it. 
We also talked about chi energy and conserving it in a male with semen retention.  I said that you are a very exacting woman.  Everything you do is so exacting.  That is probably the only bit of you that is homogeneous is that you are toto exacting.  In the same way, it is probably a good idea to retain semen, not for the purpose of achieving the world's best orgasm or for personal power, but because you want to conserve the life while alive and not rush to death.  Conserving at the level of each of the chakras is even better.  This is life, and we can retain it while we are alive.

New Man Manifesto

New Man Manifesto – Live Consciously

Live with chivalry, courting, nurturing, take responsibility; be inclusive, for women, earth, animals and men.

No more fuck em and leave em.  Like we need them, they need us.  The connection leaves an imprint and needs to be respected.  Only be with a woman that lights your life with confidence and passion for life.  The power of your woman will grow with time. 

Love is life and power.  It can propel us anywhere instantly.  Don’t renounce it – ever.  If you even come close to love you will know that you can’t outgrow it in many lifetimes.  You are not outgrowing love – you haven’t found it yet.  Be discerning with whom you share a bed. 

Take care of your ego.  The ego is sick.  We can heal them two ways, with love and truth. Recognize and nurture them.  They are the power upon conception that created us from pure consciousness.  To kill them, we kill ourselves.  They are our passion and love.  Meditate on them, they are beautiful.  We are renouncing them, but we don’t even know them.

The truth will set the ego free.  Tell all.  Our ego will rest and heal without a fight.  Stop the battle with ego and stop the neurosis.

This is a call to war.  The women, earth animals and men are in trouble.  Come together with consciousness and love.  Don’t worry about strength and firmness.  The power of awareness is nuclear.  There won’t be a need for sects, factions, or parties.  We are inclusive and nurturing.

We all have power – and what we think and feels matters.  Get in touch and get the word out. We are the new man; the new bad ass, and history won’t repeat itself.

omg...IT REALLY IS KARMA

It appears that at least a major part of our true essence for as long as we continue to deny it and and remain unaware of it is our karma.   Our karma is more omnipotent and omnipresent than our memories, body, personality and illusion of time.  It is prior and controlling.  It typically remains in control for many lifetimes.  However, it has a mass like matter and like matter it can disintegrate instantly on a nuclear level of activity.  If you become conscious to and surrender to its existence it will automatically disintegrate.  Karma exists in proportion to the energy which your soul has emitted over lifetimes.  The highest energy is unconditional love.  The lowest energy is something like hatred and cruelty.  We all have emitted all of the energies along the spectrum.  We have all played an infinite number of roles over and over, each one emitting different energies at different times.  Each place and time is just another pixel in our trip through the eras.  Our karma is the totality of these energies.  We think that karma is mysterious, but it is with us all day everyday, in full view, pulling the strings of our puppets without our awareness.  We gain glimpses of it as background noise, parts of us which we deny or brush under the rug.  But when seen as a whole for what they are, these aspects of ourselves tell a story of what our karma is.  This "background noise" and inconvienet truth is our karma revealing itself.  We are not what we hope to be or could be.  We are our karma and it is as unchangeable as we are unconscious.  Put your jealousy, hatred, anger, shame, fear, and guilt together as a whole puzzle and witness who you really are.  You will finally see your real power and essence as your karma shifts in the light of awareness.